Write before you speak
1 May 2008
Structure is all. Ideally, you need to organise your thoughts so that you have a clear beginning, middle, and end in mind.
Don’t worry too much about grammar
When we speak normally, we don’t speak in perfect sentences. What’s important isn’t the grammar, but the points you are making and the stories you are telling.
Don’t write word for word. Put key points on a card in your pocket to help keep you on track.
One exception is when you want to include a poem or a song where, unless you know it by heart, you may want the exact words to hand.
What’s the best order for what you’re going to say?
If you don’t know how to start, don’t waste time worrying about it. Write the middle first – the main part – and think about how to begin afterwards.
You could begin with their childhood and work through the highlights of their life.
Or do the same thing in reverse. Start with the present or recent past, then work backwards.
Why not try a three-point plan? Decide three key things to say and the order for saying them.
Or find a theme - choose one big thing and give examples, anecdotes, stories to explain and illustrate it.
Above all, avoid cliché
Phrases like ‘We are gathered here today…’ become empty from overuse.
Start as you mean to go on, with something special about that person. You don’t really need an introduction. People know who you are talking about and why everyone’s there. It may be easiest and best to get straight to the point.
For example: ‘There are many things for which she will be remembered, but what we will never forget is her wicked sense of humour. Particularly the time when…’
How will I end?
If you want to play a piece of music or give a reading you could end your eulogy by explaining why you’ve chosen it.
Or simply write a short sentence of farewell, maybe the very last thing you said to them – or wanted to say to them – before they died.
