Finding the right words to say
1 May 2008
When someone dies, you may be called upon to say a few words in their memory.
A eulogy not only makes a connection with the dead person, it also marks a final separation. It is at once a warm embrace and a letting go.
It may be difficult to make a speech under such circumstances but the value of a eulogy cannot be over-estimated. It offers the chance to talk about someone important to you and bring them vividly to life.
Whether the service is traditional or more contemporary – a eulogy can be specific, particular, even intimate. This is the secret of its power; it might move us to tears, but it will start to heal us too.
Do not think that you are not up to the task. The best eulogies are often the simplest, spoken straight from the heart.
They remind us that, in their own way, each person is unique and possesses special gifts – be it humour or kindness or wisdom.
You might want to include a poem. Poetry is especially good at concentrating large thoughts into a little space, at getting straight to the heart of things.
Ideally it should be a poem you have written yourself, in which case it will have particular resonance. Failing that, choose a poem with special meaning for you, for the assembled company or the person you are honouring.
